Soul’s Physical Health Journey Part 13 of 13: Old image – subtle sabotage.

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Over the past 12 posts, I’ve shared a few insights on my success of retiring over 115 pounds (back in 2005).  This final post for this series is also a bridge to our next 13 part adventure featuring what I experienced mentally / emotionally as I witnessed less of me more often.  The bridge we’re about to cross connects two lands.

  1. The old land, my old image that while it seems far away now, once in a while, it feels like a moment ago.
  2. The new land, my current healthy self, sometimes seems foreign when I flash back to ‘the old country.’

One of the more memorable acts I enjoy recalling are the ‘end of the month, get rid of it’ days I created as I retired (on average) 30 pounds each month.  Yes, yes, for some that amount of weight release in that amount of time may seem a bit much.  Rest assured, not only was my body TOTALLY ready to let it go, I could FEEL my health come back on line each and every day.  (I digress, sorry!)

sparkleAt the end of each month, I’d try on every stitch of clothing I had.  If it was too big, it got tossed into the release pile.  I have to admit, while this was GREAT fun, it also involved some sorrow and a few tears.  Tears flowed as I remembered how some pieces were gifts from very dear friends.  How COULD I toss out such a gift. (Couldn’t I get it altered?  Often times, when I tried to have something altered, the results were less than optimal.) Besides, I looked DAMN GOOD in that back in the fat-old-days!  Such reminiscing IS a form of subtle sabotage.  Love, relationships and desire to feel loved are powerful emotions.  These emotions sometimes drown out my healthier inner voice leaving me to listen to external voices who say, “You looked so GREAT back then!  Now, you’re looking rather thin, don’t cha think?”  (Read this post to understand the importance of that last sentence.)

As the old clothes found new homes (often consignment shops to earn back some $$ to afford new stuff), I enjoyed, at times, a bit of a shopping spree. With 20/20 hindsight, I now see how I sabotaged myself with overspending on new clothes!  How?  I wasn’t at goal weight when I bought all that new stuff! (Sort of like the opposite of buying clothes for child! They say kids out-grow their clothes so quickly sometimes, the clothes barely get worn!)  For me, after about four months, I quickly discovered I spent WAY too much money on new, nice-fitting (for the moment) clothes.  (I wish I had the nerve to return things.  After wearing them more than twice, ethically, I just can’t bring myself to return something.) Part of my sadness of having to buy yet MORE new clothes resulted in a desire to STOP retiring weight!  Why?  I wanted to ‘get my money’s worth’ out of those clothes!  WRONG!  Had to bite the bullet and just wear really baggy clothes for a while!!

While there’s oceans of old-image sabotage stories to share, I highly encourage everyone to allow those stories to fade much like a pair of blue jeans after a few bleach washes.  Keeping such stories alive (by retelling them) is, yes, you guessed it!  Subtle sabotage.

As I wrap up this first series, please know I bow in gratitude for your time and interest.  Kindly do leave your comments below.  And by all means, I’d enjoy working with you should you (or someone you know) need support in gaining then maintaining a healthy weight.  For more details about my program, click this link.

And now!  Get ready for a 13 part series featuring a swim in the emotional pond!  Over the next few weeks, you’ll swim from the shallow to the deep end as I share insights on what I experienced emotionally as I retired over 115 pounds.  Stay tuned!  Click to connect directly if you’d like! Your comments and direct emails are GREAT no-calorie treats for my soul!


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